Bonnie's Journey

I am sorry to pass on bad news.

RedRoses, Bonnie (Bonita Nault) passed away from lung cancer this evening at about 8:30 pm central time.

She was a dear friend to me for the past 15 years. We met in DreamScape and only a few times in real life. We had many good times together and talked for many hours, learning HTML web pages and PaintShop Pro together and visiting many internet worlds and places together while we talked.

Over the past weeks she had gotten weaker and was in a lot of pain, many times she was not able to talk more than a few minutes, as she was on pain killers. I talked to her last on Sunday after Christmas but after that she was not able to talk.

Please, say a prayer for her family.

If you want to send a card or flowers please message me and I will give you her home address.

November 15, 2012

A few days ago Bonnie went shopping for Thanksgiving dinner. She said her husband would not buy enough. LOL She is in her wheel chair all the time or in bed, has a permanent catheter foley and cannot walk. Yet all she wants is to make this big dinner for her family. It got me to wondering about why we keep pushing when we are ill or old. I think there is something more each of has left to do and when it is done we will pass on.

Another friend of mine called and her husband passed away recently of liver failure but only after he saw that she had her surgery and was ok. She said it was like he was waiting til he saw she was ok then he died in a matter of a few days.

I got this in an email today and thought it was good for this blog....

A brother and sister had made their usual hurried, obligatory pre-Christmas visit to the little farm where dwelt their elderly parents with their small herd of horses. The farm was where they had grown up and had been named Lone Pine Farm because of the huge pine, which topped the hill behind the farm. Through the years the tree had become a talisman to the old man and his wife, and a landmark in the countryside. The young siblings had fond memories of their childhood here, but the city hustle and bustle added more excitement to their lives, and called them away to a different life.

The old folks no longer showed their horses, for the years had taken their toll, and getting out to the barn on those frosty mornings was getting harder, but it gave them a reason to get up in the mornings and a reason to live. They sold a few foals each year, and the horses were their reason for joy in the morning and contentment at day's end.

Angry, as they prepared to leave, the young couple confronted the old folks "Why do you not at least dispose of The Old One." She is no longer of use to you. It's been years since you've had foals from her. You should cut corners and save so you can have more for yourselves. How can this old worn out horse bring you anything but expense and work? Why do you keep her anyway?"

The old man looked down at his worn boots, holes in the toes, scuffed at the barn floor and replied, " Yes, I could use a pair of new boots.

His arm slid defensively about the Old One's neck as he drew her near with gentle caressing he rubbed her softly behind her ears. He replied softly, "We keep her because of love. Nothing else, just love."

Baffled and irritated, the young folks wished the old man and his wife a Merry Christmas and headed back toward the city as darkness stole through the valley.

The old couple shook their heads in sorrow that it had not been a happy visit. A tear fell upon their cheeks. How is it that these young folks do not understand the peace of the love that filled their hearts?

So it was, that because of the unhappy leave-taking, no one noticed the insulation smoldering on the frayed wires in the old barn. None saw the first spark fall. None but the "Old One".

In a matter of minutes, the whole barn was ablaze and the hungry flames were licking at the loft full of hay. With a cry of horror and despair, the old man shouted to his wife to call for help as he raced to the barn to save their beloved horses. But the flames were roaring now, and the blazing heat drove him back. He sank sobbing to the ground, helpless before the fire's fury. His wife back from calling for help cradled him in her arms, clinging to each other, they wept at their loss.

By the time the fire department arrived, only smoking, glowing ruins were left, and the old man and his wife, exhausted from their grief, huddled together before the barn. They were speechless as they rose from the cold snow covered ground. They nodded thanks to the firemen as there was nothing anyone could do now. The old man turned to his wife, resting her white head upon his shoulders as his shaking old hands clumsily dried her tears with a frayed red bandanna. Brokenly he whispered, "We have lost much, but God has spared our home on this eve of Christmas. Let us gather strength and climb the hill to the old pine where we have sought comfort in times of despair. We will look down upon our home and give thanks to God that it has been spared and pray for our beloved most precious gifts that have been taken from us.

And so, he took her by the hand and slowly helped her up the snowy hill as he brushed aside his own tears with the back of his old and withered hand.

The journey up the hill was hard for their old bodies in the steep snow. As they stepped over the little knoll at the crest of the hill, they paused to rest, looking up to the top of the hill the old couple gasped and fell to their knees in amazement at the incredible beauty before them.

Seemingly, every glorious, brilliant star in the heavens was caught up in the glittering, snow-frosted branches of their beloved pine, and it was aglow with heavenly candles. And poised on its top most bough, a crystal crescent moon glistened like spun glass. Never had a mere mortal created a Christmas tree such as this. They were breathless as the old man held his wife tighter in his arms.

Suddenly, the old man gave a cry of wonder and incredible joy. Amazed and mystified, he took his wife by the hand and pulled her forward. There, beneath the tree, in resplendent glory, a mist hovering over and glowing in the darkness was their Christmas gift. Shadows glistening in the night light.

Bedded down about the "Old One" close to the trunk of the tree, was the entire herd, safe.

At the first hint of smoke, she had pushed the door ajar with her muzzle and had led the horses through it. Slowly and with great dignity, never looking back, she had led them up the hill, stepping cautiously through the snow. The foals were frightened and dashed about. The skittish yearlings looked back at the crackling, hungry flames, and tucked their tails under them as they licked their lips and hopped like rabbits. The mares that were in foal with a new year’s crop of babies, pressed uneasily against the "Old One" as she moved calmly up the hill and to safety beneath the pine. And now she lay among them and gazed at the faces of the old man and his wife.

Those she loved she had not disappointed. Her body was brittle with years, tired from the climb, but the golden eyes were filled with devotion as she offered her gift---Because of love. Only Because of love.

Tears flowed as the old couple shouted their praise and joy... And again the peace of love filled their hearts.

Cancer is a strange cell. Going along for years in remission and then one day it pops its head up again. Pray for the day there will be a permanent cure.

Dear God, I pray for the cure of cancer. Amen

Norrie

October 23, 2012

We still talk daily and she is doing well. She wants to get back on the computer but does not seem to have enough energy. She is tired of being in bed so much and wants to sit up more. Her mind is clear but she does not remember many things.

I will write more later.

Norrie

October 15, 2012

She went home a couple of days after my last post. I talk to her each evening but can hardly understand what she is saying. She has gained a bunch of weight because of the steroids to keep her comfortable so her voice is very different.

However, she is fiesty and told her visiting nurse off a couple of days ago. Seems the nurse (from hospice) told her it was all down hill from now. She told the nurse she would was not gonna die that easy, she would die when she got ready and not before. The nurse comes by 2 or 3 times a week to help her take a bath and give her husband some time off. Her husband is wonderful and stays with her almost all the time and does everything for her. He built a ramp by the steps up to the house to get her in and out more easily, fixes her food, and cleans the house. Sounds like my kinda man... OH I have one of those too.

She said it is easy to move around in bed but she has a hard time walking. She uses a wheel chair to move around in the house or to sit up and has a walker she can use sometimes.

I will let you know how things are going again when I can.

Norrie

October 4, 2012

I talked to Bonnie and she seems to be doing well Thank you all again for caring and your prayers. She says she misses everyone.

Norrie

October 3, 2012

Bonnie had a bad seizure yesterday and is still in the hospital.. her husband has not gone home but is by her side.

I will Post more if I find out anything.

Norrie

September 23, 2012

If anyone wants the address to send Bonnie a card please let me know and I will send it, I know she would love to hear from you.

I now wonder the wisdom of making this blog.

When we started this project, it was her idea, she was so strong and vibrant, we thought she would fight this thing through and now she is so weak she is confined to bed or in a wheel chair and needs constant care.

Bonnie does not have a telephone in her room as yet. They only put one in as needed I think. It is sometimes several days between times she can talk on the phone so the information I get maybe very old.

Each entry gets harder for me to make because I realize there is not that much that I can say without being disrespectful, depressing, and insensitive to her family and friends.

I will continue to post any changes that occur and any news I do have.

Love you all

Norrie

September 22, 2012

This is a hard post for me

Bonnie was taken back to the nursing facility and will have hospice care there for a while. Not sure if they intend to bring her back home or not.

When her husband took her to the hospital because of her leg they did new Xrays and found that the cancer is growing very fast again. Without the chemo of course it would but that made her so sick it would have killed her if she took a second dose. The docs said it is just a matter of time, possibly three months. Depending on how hard she fights I guess.

Always think you are prepared for this but then it is such a let down and shock when you are told.

Norrie

September 20, 2012

Bonnie went home today and I spoke to her briefly. She was doing well but a little scared of being where she could not get around easily.

Her house is not well arranged for a wheel chair or a handicapped person.

Her daughter contacted me this evening and they had to call 911 because her leg locked up while she was in the bathroom. They took her back to the hospital in the early evening.

Will post more as I hear it.

Norrie

September 19, 2012

Sorry for not posting more often. I have had my internet was down for a couple of days.

I have only spoken to her husband in the past few days, she is on steroids so she can function and eat better. She will leave the nursing facility tomorrow ... not because she cannot benefit from it but because it is only okayed by her insurance for 2 weeks. They will have someone come to the house daily to help her with stuff.

I will post more if I learn anything.

Norrie

September 12, 2012

Bonnie is still in the nursing facility. They have suspended her chemo therapy as it makes her too sick. They are giving her rehab and also she is eating again because they have her on steroids to help releave the pain.

Her husband says he called Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Illinois and they will take her there if his insurance will permit.

Norrie

PS The insurance said she must get a referral from her doctor. So it will be a couple of days before they hear back.

September 4, 2012

Talked to Bonnie's husband and they transfered her to a nursing facility that is connected to the hospital. They said it is necessary cause she cannot walk now (her balance is off) and she needs to build herself up for the treatments later.

She has a Doctor's appointment in a week and they will know more then.

These are really good signs from what she was a week ago.

Norrie

August 1, 2012

Just heard from Bonnie's daughter that she is some better. She is eating today... had waffle, sausage and egg for breakfast and pork roast with fixin's for dinner.

She will be going home soon and will have home health care come daily to help take care of her.

All good signs...

Norrie

September 1, 2012

I talked briefly to her husband last night, they have the seizures under control. She is sitting up and eating a bit but seemed to have conceptual problems so they did a scan and the brain cancer has come back. At this point they do not think she is a good candidate for more chemo as she is too weak and has a very low white cell count. Her regular Oncology Dr will need to decide this with the family.

Many of her friends from DreamScape are reading updates in FaceBook and are praying for her. If prayer works this surely will.

Norrie

August 30, 2012

Bonnie's daughter contacted me, she is back in the hospital.

She has not eaten for several days and cannot even hold liquids down. She is very dehydrated and weak again.

She had two seizures today so they took her to the hospital where they gave her anti-seizure meds. Bonnie is really out of it and only recognizes her husband's voice and will open her eyes a bit then.

She does need your prayers.

Norrie

August 28m 2012

Bonnie is still very sick to her stomach and cannot hold food down and any that does stay down goes out with diarrea. She is taking what the doc gave her and Imodium AD but it does not seem to help a lot.

I wish there was something I could do to help but she is too far away.

Norrie

August 27, 2012

Bonnie went home from the hospital Saturday but I had a busy weekend and could not post. I spoke to her briefly both days but she is still very weak and sleeps a lot.

She says they will not give her anymore chemo therapy until her blood count comes back up. It was extremely low, they gave her fluid IVs to help with the dehydration and antibiotics to help stave off infections. She has a mask to wear at home so she will not breath in too many infectuous germs. Her XRays were good and did not show any pnuemonia.

I think just doing radiation will lower the white count and starting chemo lowers it even more. It is a fine line the doctor's have to follow to get chemo to kill the cancer and not the patient.

Norrie

August 25, 2012

Bonnie will be in the hospital at least one more day. Her electrolytes are off and they need to regulate the potassium so they put the IV back in. She also needs to have XRays before she goes home.

She is very tired and weak and sleeps a lot. The Drs will not let her get out of bed by herself so she is upset that she has to call them each time she wants to go to the bathroom She also has some boots on that help with circulation in the feet (so she does not get blood clots) and she hates them. LOL

Norrie

August 22, 2012

Bonnie is still in hospital and her daughter says she will be there at least another day. She was coughing up blood because she was dehydrated (her daughter thinks lol). They have her on an IV for fluids because she cannot eat (throws it up).

Norrie

August 21, 2012

I just got word from her daughter that Bonnie was put back in the hospital. Last night when we were on the phone she was coughing and seemed to cough up some blood. Over the night it got worse and today she had an appointment with the Cancer Treatment Center, and she was evidently bad enough that they put her in the hospital.

I am sorry I am not keeping up with journal but I have hurt my back and it is hard for me to sit long enough to make the entries.

I will post again when I know more about how she is.

Norrie